Can you beat it? I used to think that this was a death sentence or at least a prison sentence with no hope of parole. I do know that it is a very slippery slope to say the least, but yes it can be beaten.
At one time I was well on my way towards transition. My earliest memories were of a little boy who desire to be a little girl. My favorite story I shared with my counselor was when I was 8 I had save up $200 and some change for a sex change operation after watching an episode Donahue. And for someone who was raised below the poverty line in the 70s, 200 was a whole lot of money. My counselor and my psychiatrist both said I should transition as I would be a whole lot happier with life. I only had one hold up, and that was my family and my dedication to them. Having been raised in a broken home, I swore to myself that my 3 kids would not grow up without a father, as I felt I was cheated in a big way. This is all coming from a child whose theme song is “what about me.” So any way I could go on with convincing you who I am or was, but that’s not the subject matter. The subject matter is can it be beaten…the short answer is yes. Can you keep your sanity, again yes you can. How does one slay the dragon, well that’s not so easy…
First you have to understand who you are, and you have to be able to be honest with yourself and if you can’t well then continue to read for fun and mock me at the end. Next you need to have an understanding of how the brain works and how it can be changed. I know neuroscience isn’t an easy subject, but I am not asking you to get a degree in it, just read a little bit more than the average person. Shoot you may not have to even read, there are some good podcasts out there that will fill in for the reading. Along those lines you also need to be well read in human sexuality, which if you are here, then I would imagine that you are, and so check that one off your list. You will also need motivation to make the change, no motivation, then what’s the point? You also need to believe that you can change and you can beat this, I think this goes along with the whole motivation thingy, but I am writing this from the hip, and am not a professional…well I am a nurse, but not a psychiatric one. Lastly I believe you need a support system; here is the challenge as your support system needs to be outside of the gender community. Lastly you need good health – nutrition and exercise fill the bill here. As you can see, this is not a take the pill and be done, it is a complex process which I will dole out over the next several weeks. Also I am sure to add to this list, as I am absent minded and am sure I forgot something.
So as a recap, brain workings will include conditioning, addiction, and biochemical processes. Human sexuality, well we need you to read / skim some articles on autogynophelia. Real term or not, many of the ideas behind this vilified word are true, whether you want to believe them or not. The republican gender variants vilified this word a long time ago to discredit it for their own means, so we need to be a bit open-minded here. Motivation for the change, the best one I can give out is your relationship with your immediate family and world for that matter. Don’t have a relationship well then move on into transition; I would have just for the pleasure of it-yes that what it is a pleasure. Non-gender issued support system, which to me is a hard one to break free of. See you have these folks around you who understand something that no one else does; well they are also a catalyst for it…think about it. Who else tells you how good you look and that you can pass and do the impossible? Exactly! Health and nutrition, well for the body and mind to run effectively you need to exercise and you need to eat right, don’t have enough of one nutrient or another well then you are not in balance. If you’re not in balance well you can’t get through it.
So then, the last paragraph I wrote could be a great road map, to helping you get going to what you need to do. I can say I have been off hormones for a couple years now. I have not dressed up for over a year, and I am 90% happy with how things are. Do I think about it, yes I do. Does it consume me, it does not. If I were more disciplined do I think I could eradicate it, well I think I could get my happiness quotient up to 95 to 98, but that’s another story. I also believe that social media is the reason for the rise in gender disparity. I believe that what many of us think is real is not. You cannot be a close minded idiot and accomplish anything, at least anything worthwhile.
What say you?
10 comments:
You have my full attention is what I think.
You've got my attention too. I've been on estrogen for a couple of years, but backed off 2 weeks ago, and have taken up testosterone again. I retire in two months and intend to become a "Gym Rat", lose weight and become healthier.
I'll either become more masculine or lose enough weight that my BMI will make the GRS surgeon's requirements.
Being a woman is hard work and surgery is expensive, dangerous and painful.
Who wouldn't want to remain male and avoid all the problems if there were workable alternative.
My body and mind are pretty feminine, but if FTM's can make the transition to male, maybe I can too.
Or at least be comfortable being androgynous.
Many people say you will never be able to change your mind and the only option is to change the body.
I think the brain is fairly malleable if you learn how to control it.
It's a pity all of the "helping professions" can't seem to help us work this out.
Gawd! GID is really a terrible thing!
I am eager to hear what you did to hold it at bay and come to terms with it.
Betty Ann
OMFG!!!! FINALLY! Some SIMPLE COMMON SENSE!
VERY well said Bree. EXCELLENT!
I think you are going to have a lot of people's attention before very long. You have mine...especially for the education.
Cynthia
With the rapid advances in knowledge, several techniques were used to create the vagina; however, Dr. Juta”s technique is one of a kind, “The Scarless Sexchange” wherein there will be no visible scar on the labia majora after the operation. Certainly, he is the only doctor performing a high quality SRS “Scarless Sex change” in Thailand today. With Dr. Juta, you can achieve a successful outcome both in appearance and function, and there are far lesser incidents of complications. The goal of Doctor Juta is to create female sexual organs that look as natural as possible and that allow as much sexual arousal as possible.
http://maletofemalesrsthailand.blogspot.com
@Osias, you must have trolled all the site cause I see this push for your 'practice' everywhere. Enough is enough for you.
Bree, this is your life and you must live it the way you see best. Good to have you back!
You and I are pretty much on the same page, Bree.
As you know, I do it with diet, exercise, immersing myself in my work and hobbies AND with support from those like myself.
The latter is where we differ. You see, my best friends, and I mean my very best local friends who know me intimately, most of whom have transitioned, are my support system. Do they tell me I look great when en femme? Well, none of them have ever seen me that way, and that's the way I want it. They understand just what I'm going through and they are always there to remind me why I DON'T want to transition. They see the love I have for my wife and family and always remind me of that when I begin to slide down the slope.
I guess if you don't have those friends who truly care about you, rather than encouraging you to transition, then the support group does need to be from others unlike yourself.
The feelings are always with me. The depression comes and goes. But, my friends, who understand me, are always there also and are my motivators.
Calie
Hi Bree,
Can you "beat" it? Perhaps you can, but I would need to know more about your personal definition of what it means to "beat" it. I told my therapist that I will be the first person to beat it and she responded that I am also the type of person that thinks they will cheat death. I guess she wasn't impressed.
You are beating it now and perhaps that's all that matters. Enjoy the "winning" feeling today.
When your kids are grown and out of the house, you may need to find another way to "beat" it. And after that strategy runs it's course, you will need to find yet another way to beat it. .
Reprogramming the brain is hard work isn't it? I know all to well how this works (we are alike in some respects) and I wish you the best. Keep running and stay one step ahead. I guess that's all it takes to beat it for now. Just don't take a break to stop and smell the roses or you might find yourself struggling to beat it.
Incidentally, if at some point later in life, you realize that you can't beat it, are you then a loser?
Best wishes.
In the same discussion, I came across a site called Stop Crossdressing, and responded to it on my site (http://www.briannaaustin.com/index.php/features/46-talk-back/203-stop-cross-dressing), and have written a few others about the conflicts of being trans, listed under FEATURES/ Essays - "Are We What We Feel?" being the most recent, and also The Pill.
Hey Bree.....you still out there?
Calie xx
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