March 15, 2010

light reading

Since I have completed my masters degree (thank you all for the kind words, and congratulations) I have started to read a ton more. I am enjoying many different types of books, although most have to do with psychology and how technology intertwines with it. I will say that in the not so distant future I will do a study and try to publish something on the subject, just looking for that right thing. Anyway, I am reading a book titled Emotional Design why we love (or hate) everyday things. It is a really good read and I am learning a bit about myself along the way. One item that depressed me a bit was that the author started talking about how every one has items in their life that may not have much monetary worth, but has a lot of emotional worth, or has "visceral meaning" to them. I stopped and looked up from my book and pondered as my wife asked what I was thinking. I went on to say that I have nothing of emotional value to me, no trinkets, no baubles, no nothing. Now I value and cherish my family, but other than that there nothing. Now you I can say there are a few photos I cherish, but other than that I couldn't come up with much.

As I pointed this out, my wife presented her thoughts on it all. She related it to the fact that I had planned on leaving last summer and separated myself from everything and just never connected back. I can see that had some merit to it. She also brought up the fact that since I was in a car accident about 4 yrs ago I have had a few other issues and this one was made worse by that, not to mention this is when my gender issues really flared up, which in itself was a bit odd, but doing some quick research on reading further in my book I found that this is true and sometimes common, the issues with emotion and head injury, not gender. Anyway I got a bit sad, but thanks to current pharmacology was able to shake it pretty quickly.
I will say that with the time change and spring in the air I have been in a pretty decent mood, and hope to continue to do so, I am sure I will hold pretty strong, although June will be the test as it is the month for the last several years that I have had major issues with.

On with the book, one of the stories in the book was about a board, a plank really. A plank that is a foot wide and about 10 feet long. If you laid this plank on the ground and I asked you to walk across it, you could without hesitation, no questions. Now if I put the plank on a couple of chairs and again asked you to walk across it, you might again, but would be much more careful, and even though its the same plank would have some doubts. The next step was to take the plank and connect two thirty story buildings and ask you to walk across. Same plank, just a bit more elevated. Well this is where many stop and will not continue. The author makes the point that you would walk across it laying on the ground, so what is the difference? It is the perception of the fear you feel. I stopped and pondered again, and thought, that my actual transition is the plank that is 30 stories up in the air, yes I could walk across it, but the fear of falling is too great, and the chance that if I did fall and the consequences that would go with it would just be too great, so therefore I wouldn't or couldn't do it. What if I had a net? or What if my family were on the other side and I had to walk across, well then I could do it, but the outcome is different, the purpose is different too. Just something to think about. I am enjoying the book and there are many interesting analogies that I do enjoy, I am sure I will share more as I move through it.

I will also say that I am not getting online as much, in fact trying to stay off a bit and can say that has helped a bit, we'll see as time moves forward just how in all works out. Anyway thanks for being there, you are the greatest!


March 06, 2010

finished my masters degree

Well this week I finished up my masters degree in nursing informatics. I will get my diploma in 5 to 6 weeks. In my informatics department I will be the only one with my masters and feel really over educated. I have started looking more for another position and am not really finding much. I do wonder about the changing jobs thing or moving up thing as some day I could transition, but I am not seeing that in the horizon at all. Don't ask me why, I just don't see it. You ever get that feeling, when you know something is right when you can see it happening? Well I don't see the whole transitioning thing happening at all. I do hope I get another life somewhere along the way, I suppose I could start believing in reincarnation or life after death, but that so doesn't make sense so. Oh well I say in a ho hum voice.
Getting my masters was fun, although in many instances it has caused more frustration as I talk in concepts others don't or won't understand. Yes I break it down to understandable terms and people still don't get it. My favorite thing is my boss is bringing me great ideas to do, that I recommended 4 yrs ago! Back then she was like "oh that would never work!" now its some great revelation. Now don't get me wrong I will say, "yeah I recommended that 4 years ago!" and I get the blank stare. I smile and walk away.
Its a curse, its a curse to get it all, meaning understand it all and feel like everyone around you doesn't. I will say that I have to strike one up for my spouse who gets it many times, which I suppose it why we are still together. I give her tons of ideas for her work and they get used, of coarse I get no credit there, and the funny thing is neither does she...her boss does.
So my happy event of completing my masters isn't that happy, and I again am sure some of it is related to my intermittent depression, which again I get it. Yes I am a downer today. One thing I have to look forward too is my daughter starts spring soccer this weekend, which this has to be one of the few things in life that truly brings me joy, is watching her play the game as goalie.
Well I am wishing for everyone else to have a good weekend, and to have the sunshine in your face with the wind at your back.


March 01, 2010

go girl

OK for something totally out of left field, potty humor. I heard about this product and could not keep it to myself, it is the "go girl" you can go to the link and see it. I suppose now I could go into the women's bathroom and pee like a man and say I was using one of these. I can also imagine all of the TG bashing out there if this product ever takes off. I can see the Saturday Night Live skit now. I will say it does make me smile a bit if you really think about the whole concept. On the for real side it also makes total sense if it really works. Oh well this was a short blurb for the day. I am so interested in what the peanut gallery's take on this is.
Thanks for stopping by.