October 15, 2009

halloween...

Every year I always have to put something out about halloween and costumes.  One of the beliefs that I have developed over time is that if you are TG you should not dress up as a woman for halloween.  Now maybe a woman as another character is fine, but not just a woman.  Why you ask?  Well I have developed the belief that it really cheapens who you are as a TG woman and that if you dress up you are making light of this fact or signifying that its just a costume and not the real you.  If you want to be a witch or a cheerleader, or nurse then super.  That is sending the message that I am a woman dressing up.  This year if I go out I plan on doing a jester of sorts, but with family and such doubt that I will make it out.  By all means do not dress up as some call girl or slut or tramp or what ever would be degrading.  I work as a nurse and can say that dressing up as a "naughty nurse" is not something I would do or would approve of.  Mind you, it is not about my approval or anyone else's as this is jsut my belief.  That last thing I would want though is you to turn in who you really are as some sort of joke of sorts.

In my first year of marriage I dressed up as a woman, went a little into a bit of reality, shaved my legs, and did nail polish, and even curled my hair.  Had a great holiday.  I did use it as a segway to tell my wife about who I was inside.  She did have a hard time with it all, and cried and such.  When all was said and done, she said that it must have been hard for me to be dressed up that way and have everyone make out as a joke, as when I was being serious and trying to express myself others thought I was mocking something or some idea.  I had never thought of it that way, and a few other Halloweens following I did go out dressed up.  I have since really scaled back or in the last several years if I did go out, I dressed up as a woman in the character of someone else.  I feel as if this would be who I really am, and not make a mockery of those who are TG, women, or anything else one can think of.

This is not too say that you couldn't do what I did, by all means if dressing up can serve as a bridge for you to tell your spouse then I say go for it better to tell her now than later, the sooner the better. 
Anyway thanks for sitting and having a cup of tea.

2 comments:

Leslie Ann said...

That is such a good point, Bree. I have largely reached the same conclusion, but for a different reason. My thought was always that dressing as a woman on Halloween would get you outed. I sure wouldn't pretend that I was having trouble with walking in heels, or do something garish with my makeup. I'd do it right, and people would wonder if I have more than a night's experience with this. Not worth the risk, and it takes the fun right out of it.

The holiday is way overrated for TGs.

Calie said...

If the theme calls for it, I suppose there are exceptions to the rule, but in general, I agree, Bree.

I loved the empathy your wife showed.

Calie xxx