February 19, 2010

A new find

A New blogger...

I found a new blogger today, she is post op and has been for sometime. She is a writer, creator, and intellectual. Her male story sounds so very similar to mine in that she was married with two kids (I have 3) and had a good career, and dealt with depression. Her gender struggle was one of challenge as she moved forward in life, but alas she succumbed to transition. Her site is:


now I do not recommend this site for all, as it can stir up many emotions and feelings about ones self. I read it and am like “damn I best get going on my transition tomorrow!” now you and I know I won't, but she makes a great case for it all. One of my favorite lines is: "If I become female, there will be trouble. If I stay male it will be double." As she talks about the mental issues of not transitioning.

Mental issues with not transitioning, hmmm. I can say that I do agree there is something there and I have mentioned it in the past, I related it too another application running in the back ground or a female noise that won't go away. With her it is a mental issue that she describes matter of fact and how she is much better now she is rid of it. She also makes a great case for FFS, which I would bet would be better before transitioning, although that might be difficult in a way.

As I began my day today, I came to an agreement that I was comfortable with where I am and that I can keep doing what I am doing. I can deal with the depression and the noise and continue to go about life. I can say I am no where near 100% living a full life, and that I feel beaten down with little excitement and hope in my life, but I can get through it. We all have our crosses. Then this site comes along out of the blue and someone 20 yrs post transition says, yes it can work, no real losses and she's a much better person now for it. Throw in some Gin Su knives, a Shamwow, and a Snuggly with a price of 19.99 and I am there!

So is this torture should I not look around? I came to this wonderful group having been led in by Callie with those of like mindedness, although some are more on the fence that others, I blame that on you being foreigners...just kidding really! So what to do, what to do, what to do? Well for the moment I will ponder life and such, and try to push it all to the back of the bus and hope I can recover quickly for the depression I am setting myself up for. Anyway don't take the foreigner commit wrong, I believe I would move away if the opportunity existed, but enough country bashing, although I do feel better when I pick at others. Have a good weekend, if your like me don't go to the link, and be happy you have your health.




Jenny said...

First of all, thanks for sharing the link, I can see there's a lot there to read and digest.

As always with a site like that there pops up a flush of transition envy but I always temper it with these two points: (1)I remind myself just why I'm not transitioning. In my case, ugly giant with gorgeous wife.(2)Their situation might not have been exactly the same as yours or mine, and That's their take on events. Any wreckage along the way might be ignored or glossed over.

Doesn't help the general level of gender fog but gives the temptation a solid kick in the nuts.

Calie said...

Well, Bree, I went to the link at the point in your post where you listed it. Immediately got depressed, and went on to read the rest of your post.

It is true that blogs like that can totally change my mood. That's why I stopped reading that blog about the young girl and her wonderful mother. It is just more than my emotions can handle.

Calie xxx

Calie said...

I was quite depressed when I left that last comment, Bree. I just went back to your post and found that the blog has been deleted.

I'll write you soon, assuming your email address hasn't changed.

Calie xxx