lazy summer...

I wanted to throw something out there as I have not in a bit. I have been lazy when it comes to my blog as I have sort of disconnected from it for the time, although I do like to read what is going on in others lives and I do comment from time to time. My comments are not my best works, as I am not really hitting on all six cylinders.

This summer has definitely been a summer of spending. First a new fence in my yard, then a new (to me) ski boat, a trip to the grand canyon with my son, another upcoming family vacation. That about taps it all out, yes it was all paid for in cash. This isn’t a bragging session of what I had in funds or what I bought, just an honest appraisal of what has been happening. I do live my life in material things. I did tell my wife when we married that I was a material girl living in a material world...does that count as a confession?

All of this has helped subside my gender feelings a great deal. I obviously still think about it or I wouldn’t necessarily be here, although I would write a good bye blog and not leave everyone hanging as to where I went.

Work has been pretty uneventful, and I would so love to find a new job as I am no longer challenged at my work. I am trying to expand my role and see if I can do more, but I am trapped in a square box that isn’t that flexible, got to love how IT is that way.

I have been in Phoenix AZ for the last couple of days, had a great time within the Grand Canyon. My son and I rode a mule down to the bottom and stayed overnight at the ranch and then returned on mule. It was about 5 hours both ways, and at the end everything hurt.

I have put on about 10 pounds this summer and feel horrible for it, its all male weight too, the weight that goes to your gut, opposed to female weight when on hormones that goes to your ass. I am probably the heaviest I have been in a long long time. I did get on the treadmill today in the phoenix heat (the treadmill is outside at my parents in laws) and did that for 15 min. Was doing good until the end of the day when I had a great many chocolate covered raisins, so much for the run.

I am wanting to write a paper for Calie on why not to transition, and have multiple ideas, but in the end it would be hard (at this moment) for me to tell anyone not too. Uh-Oh I see a mood tanking here as I write all of this out. I will write the paper, some time soon, the gist of it all, the only reason I have is the old Spock saying, “the needs of the many, outweigh those of the few, or the one.”

I hope everyone is having a good summer, as I am for the most part, I am looking forward to boating, its always a challenge to hide the girls, I am sure they would loose some mass if I did, but for now I deal with that too. Anyway, stay cool.

B